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Top Ten Most Unfortunate Character Names

This week's TTT over at the Broke and the Bookish is "Top Ten Tuesday REWIND (pick a past topic that we've done that you missed or just want round 2 of!)" so I chose "Top Ten Most Unfortunate Character Names."

1. Lee Fiora from Prep

If only it were Leigh, or even better, Leia. But no. Lee Fiora's name is bland, short, and implicitly incorrectly gendered. No wonder she's unhappy.

2. Holden Caulfield from Catcher in the Rye

Seriously, what kind of a name is Holden? No wonder he hates his parents.

3. Blue Van Meer from Special Topics in Calamity Physics

There's a cool reason for this and all (her mom could only catch blue butterflies), but it's not worth the color jokes.

4. Amber Brown from Amber Brown Is Not a Crayon

Also a major issue in these books. Don't name your kid after a color. Period. But especially with a last name like Brown.

5. Dobby, Winky, and Kreacher from Harry Potter

Now, I love Dobby with all my heart. But all house-elf names I've heard are seriously unfortunate.

6. Snowball from Animal Farm

With a name like Snowball, you're not getting very far in a social hierarchy.

7. Equality 7-2521 from Anthem

This isn't even a name. I feel sorry for him.

8. Geist from The Phenomenology of Spirit

First, he doesn't even have a name, then he gets dumped with a name like "Geist" that means spirit in German. I feel sorry for the poor kid. And even sorrier that Hegel is his narrator.

9. Coke and Pepsi from The Genius Files

Ok, so I've never read this, but one of the kids in my class did for our independent reading project. If you think naming your kids after colors is a bad idea, naming them after commercial products is far worse.

10. Billie Jo from Out of The Dust

Such a sad book, and a sad name to go with it.

Comments

Christine said…
I love this list! I was always on the fence about Blue's name, thinking I was just maybe not cool enough to "get it." I wish her new book would come out so the world could decide whether or not she was a one-hit-wonder.
I read a book once with a character named Pepper Spicer. But, I thought it was kind of cool. All the kids were named after spices since their last name was Spicer.
I actually like the name of the house elves :p and I've seen worser names than some you've mentioned. But overall, great list!

TTT @thedailyprophecy.
Shelver506 said…
Holden. *snickers*

My TTT: http://shelversanon.blogspot.com/2012/10/top-10-tuesday-rewind-top-ten-bookish.html

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